Post by spugs28 on Jun 11, 2008 22:48:11 GMT 8
When I travel, people often ask me why I live in the
> Philippines ? Well
> here it is.....
>
> It is the only place on earth where...
>
>
> 1. Every street has a basketball court.
>
> 2. Even doctors, lawyers and engineers
> are unemployed.
>
> 3. Doctors study to become nurses for employment abroad.
>
> 4. Students pay more money than they will earn
> afterwards.
>
>
> 5. School is considered the second home and the mall
> considered the
> third.
>
> 6. Call-center employees earn more money than teachers
> and nurses.
>
> 7. Everyone has his personal ghost story and
> superstition.
>
> 8. Mountains like
> Makiling and Banahaw are considered holy
> places.
>
> 9. Everything can be forged.
>
> 10. All kinds of animals are edible.
>
> 11. Starbucks coffee is more expensive than gas.
>
> 12. Driving 4 kms can take as
> much as four hours.
>
> 13. Flyovers bring you from the freeway to the side
> streets.
>
> 14. Crossing the street involves running for your dear
> life.
>
> 15. The personal computer is mainly used for games and
> Friendster.
>
> 16. Where colonial mentality is dishonestly denied!
>
> 17. Where 4 a.m. is not even considered bedtime yet.
>
> 18. People can pay to defy the law.
>
> 19. Everything and everyone is spoofed.
>
> 20. Where even the poverty-stricken get to wear Ralph
> Lauren and Tommy
> Hilfiger (peke)!
>
> 21. The honking of car horns is a way of life.
>
> 22. Being called a bum is never offensive.
>
> 23. Floodwaters take up more than 90 percent of the streets
> during the
> rainy season.
>
> 24. Where everyone has a relative abroad who keeps them
> alive.
>
> 25. Where wearing your national colors
> make you baduy.
>
> 26. Where even the poverty-stricken have the latest cell
> phones.
> (GSM-galing sa magnanakaw)
>
> 27. Where insurance does not work.
>
> 28. Where water can only be classified as tap and dirty.
>
> 29. Clean water is for sale (35 pesos per gallon).
>
> 30. Where the government makes the people pray for
> miracles. (Amen to
> that!)
>
>
> 31. Where University of the
> Philippines is where all the weird people
> go.
>
> 32. Ateneo is where all the nerds go.
>
> 33.
> La Salle is where all the Chinese go.
>
> 34.
> College of
> Saint Benilde is where all the stupid Chinese go and;
>
> 35. University of
> Asia and the Pacific is where all the irrelevantly
> rich people go.
>
> 36. Fast food is a diet meal.
>
> 37. Traffic signs are merely suggestions, not regulations.
>
> 38. Where being mugged is normal and it happens to
> everyone.
>
> 39. Rodents are normal house pets.
>
> 40. The definition of traffic is the 'non-movement'
> of vehicles.
>
> 41. Where the fighter planes of the 1940s are used for
> military
> engagements and;
>
> 42. The new fighter planes are displayed in museums.
>
> 43.. Where alcohol and cigarettes are a necessity; and
> where the lottery
> is a commodity.
>
> 44. Where soap operas tell the realities of life and where
> the news
> provides the drama.
>
> 45. Where actors make the rules and where politicians
> provide the
> entertainment.
>
> 46. People can get away with stealing trillions of pesos
> but not a
> thousand.
>
> 47. Where being an hour late is still
> considered punctual (Grabe talaga
> 'to!)
>
> 48. Where the squatters have more to complain (even if they
> do not pay
> their tax)
>
> - than those employed and have their tax automatically
> deducted from
> their salaries.
>
> 49. And where everyone wants to leave the country!
>
>
> FILIPINO SIGNS OF WIT:
>
> 1. The sign in a flower shop in Diliman called
> "Petal Attraction".
>
> 2. "Anita Bakery"
>
> 3. A 24-hour restaurant
> called "Doris Day & Night"
>
> 4. Barber shop called "Felix The Cut";
>
> 5. A bakery named "Bread Pitt"
>
> 6. Fast-food place selling 'maruya' (banana
> fritters) called "Maruya
> Carey".
>
>
> 7. Then, there is "Christopher Plumbing"
>
> 8. A boutique called "The Way We Wear"
>
> 9. A video rental shop called "Leon King Video
> Rental"
>
> 10. A restaurant in Cainta district of Rizal called
> "Caintacky Fried
> Chicken"
>
> 11. A local
> burger restaurant called "Mang Donald's"
> (San Fdo, La Union
> )
>
> 12. A doughnut shop called "MacDonuts"
>
> 13. A shop selling 'lumpia' (egg roll) in
> Makati called "Wrap and Roll"
>
> 14. And two butcher shops called "
> Meating Place and Meatropolis" .
>
> Smart travelers can decipher what may look like baffling
> signs to
>
>
>
> unaccustomed foreigners by simply sounding out the
> 'Taglish'
>
> (The Philippine version of English words spelled and
> pronounced with a
>
>
>
> heavy Filipino such as:
>
> 15. At a restaurant menu in
> Cebu :
>
> We hab sopdrink in can an in batol? [Translation: We have
> soft drinks
>
> in can and in bottle].
>
> 16. Then, there is a sewing accessories shop called Bids
> And Pises -
>
> [translation: Beads and Pieces --or-- Bits and Pieces]
>
> There are also many signs with either badly chosen or
> misspelled words
>
> but they are usually so entertaining that it would be a
> mistake to
>
> 'correct' them like.......
>
> 17. In a restaurant in
> Baguio City , the 'summer capital' of the
>
> Philippines :
>
> Wanted: Boy Waitress
>
> 18. on a highway in Pampanga:
>
> We Make Modern Antique
> Furniture
>
> 19. On the window of a photography shop in
> Cabanatuan :
>
> We Shoot You While You Wait
>
> 20. And on the glass front of a cafe in
> Panay Avenue in
> Manila :
>
> Wanted: Waiter, Cashier, Washier
>
> Some of the notices can even give a wrong impression such
> as:
>
> 21. A shoe store in Pangasinan which has a sign saying:
>
> We Sell Imported Robber Shoes? (These could be the
> 'sneakiest'
>
> sneakers);
>
> 22. A rental property sign in Jaro reads:
>
> House for Rent, Fully Furnaced (It must really be hot
> inside)!
>
> 23. Occasionally, one could come across signs that are
> truly unique - if
>
> not altogether odd.
>
> City in southern
> Philippines which said: Adults: 1 peso; Child: 50
>
> centavos; Cadavers: fare subject to negotiation.
>
> 24. European tourists may also be intrigued to discover
> two competing
>
> shops selling hopia (a Chinese pastry) called Holland Hopia
> and
> Poland
>
> Hopia - which
> are owned and operated by two local Chinese
>
> entrepreneurs, Mr. Ho and Mr. Po respectively - (believe it
> or not)!
>
> 25. Some folks also 'creatively' redesign English
> to be more efficient.
>
> The creative confusion between language and culture leads
> to more than
>
> just simple unintentional errors in syntax, but in the
> adoption of new
>
> words, says reader Robert Goodfellow who came across a
> sign.....
>
> House Fersallarend' (house for sale or rent). Why use
> five words when
>
> two will do?
>
> 26. According to Manila businessman, Tonyboy Ongsiako,
> there is so much
> wit in the
> sense of humor is needed to survive. We have a 24-hour
> comedy show here
>
> called the government and a huge reserve of comedians made
> up mostly of
>
> politicians and bad actors.
>
> Now I ask you where else in the world would one want to
> live?
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> "The best things in life are free but when
> life hands you lemons, ask
>
>
>
>
> for tequila and salt and call me over! "
>
> Philippines . Why? Because we are in a country where a good
>
> Romer Wilson Velasco-Serrano
> Philippines ? Well
> here it is.....
>
> It is the only place on earth where...
>
>
> 1. Every street has a basketball court.
>
> 2. Even doctors, lawyers and engineers
> are unemployed.
>
> 3. Doctors study to become nurses for employment abroad.
>
> 4. Students pay more money than they will earn
> afterwards.
>
>
> 5. School is considered the second home and the mall
> considered the
> third.
>
> 6. Call-center employees earn more money than teachers
> and nurses.
>
> 7. Everyone has his personal ghost story and
> superstition.
>
> 8. Mountains like
> Makiling and Banahaw are considered holy
> places.
>
> 9. Everything can be forged.
>
> 10. All kinds of animals are edible.
>
> 11. Starbucks coffee is more expensive than gas.
>
> 12. Driving 4 kms can take as
> much as four hours.
>
> 13. Flyovers bring you from the freeway to the side
> streets.
>
> 14. Crossing the street involves running for your dear
> life.
>
> 15. The personal computer is mainly used for games and
> Friendster.
>
> 16. Where colonial mentality is dishonestly denied!
>
> 17. Where 4 a.m. is not even considered bedtime yet.
>
> 18. People can pay to defy the law.
>
> 19. Everything and everyone is spoofed.
>
> 20. Where even the poverty-stricken get to wear Ralph
> Lauren and Tommy
> Hilfiger (peke)!
>
> 21. The honking of car horns is a way of life.
>
> 22. Being called a bum is never offensive.
>
> 23. Floodwaters take up more than 90 percent of the streets
> during the
> rainy season.
>
> 24. Where everyone has a relative abroad who keeps them
> alive.
>
> 25. Where wearing your national colors
> make you baduy.
>
> 26. Where even the poverty-stricken have the latest cell
> phones.
> (GSM-galing sa magnanakaw)
>
> 27. Where insurance does not work.
>
> 28. Where water can only be classified as tap and dirty.
>
> 29. Clean water is for sale (35 pesos per gallon).
>
> 30. Where the government makes the people pray for
> miracles. (Amen to
> that!)
>
>
> 31. Where University of the
> Philippines is where all the weird people
> go.
>
> 32. Ateneo is where all the nerds go.
>
> 33.
> La Salle is where all the Chinese go.
>
> 34.
> College of
> Saint Benilde is where all the stupid Chinese go and;
>
> 35. University of
> Asia and the Pacific is where all the irrelevantly
> rich people go.
>
> 36. Fast food is a diet meal.
>
> 37. Traffic signs are merely suggestions, not regulations.
>
> 38. Where being mugged is normal and it happens to
> everyone.
>
> 39. Rodents are normal house pets.
>
> 40. The definition of traffic is the 'non-movement'
> of vehicles.
>
> 41. Where the fighter planes of the 1940s are used for
> military
> engagements and;
>
> 42. The new fighter planes are displayed in museums.
>
> 43.. Where alcohol and cigarettes are a necessity; and
> where the lottery
> is a commodity.
>
> 44. Where soap operas tell the realities of life and where
> the news
> provides the drama.
>
> 45. Where actors make the rules and where politicians
> provide the
> entertainment.
>
> 46. People can get away with stealing trillions of pesos
> but not a
> thousand.
>
> 47. Where being an hour late is still
> considered punctual (Grabe talaga
> 'to!)
>
> 48. Where the squatters have more to complain (even if they
> do not pay
> their tax)
>
> - than those employed and have their tax automatically
> deducted from
> their salaries.
>
> 49. And where everyone wants to leave the country!
>
>
> FILIPINO SIGNS OF WIT:
>
> 1. The sign in a flower shop in Diliman called
> "Petal Attraction".
>
> 2. "Anita Bakery"
>
> 3. A 24-hour restaurant
> called "Doris Day & Night"
>
> 4. Barber shop called "Felix The Cut";
>
> 5. A bakery named "Bread Pitt"
>
> 6. Fast-food place selling 'maruya' (banana
> fritters) called "Maruya
> Carey".
>
>
> 7. Then, there is "Christopher Plumbing"
>
> 8. A boutique called "The Way We Wear"
>
> 9. A video rental shop called "Leon King Video
> Rental"
>
> 10. A restaurant in Cainta district of Rizal called
> "Caintacky Fried
> Chicken"
>
> 11. A local
> burger restaurant called "Mang Donald's"
> (San Fdo, La Union
> )
>
> 12. A doughnut shop called "MacDonuts"
>
> 13. A shop selling 'lumpia' (egg roll) in
> Makati called "Wrap and Roll"
>
> 14. And two butcher shops called "
> Meating Place and Meatropolis" .
>
> Smart travelers can decipher what may look like baffling
> signs to
>
>
>
> unaccustomed foreigners by simply sounding out the
> 'Taglish'
>
> (The Philippine version of English words spelled and
> pronounced with a
>
>
>
> heavy Filipino such as:
>
> 15. At a restaurant menu in
> Cebu :
>
> We hab sopdrink in can an in batol? [Translation: We have
> soft drinks
>
> in can and in bottle].
>
> 16. Then, there is a sewing accessories shop called Bids
> And Pises -
>
> [translation: Beads and Pieces --or-- Bits and Pieces]
>
> There are also many signs with either badly chosen or
> misspelled words
>
> but they are usually so entertaining that it would be a
> mistake to
>
> 'correct' them like.......
>
> 17. In a restaurant in
> Baguio City , the 'summer capital' of the
>
> Philippines :
>
> Wanted: Boy Waitress
>
> 18. on a highway in Pampanga:
>
> We Make Modern Antique
> Furniture
>
> 19. On the window of a photography shop in
> Cabanatuan :
>
> We Shoot You While You Wait
>
> 20. And on the glass front of a cafe in
> Panay Avenue in
> Manila :
>
> Wanted: Waiter, Cashier, Washier
>
> Some of the notices can even give a wrong impression such
> as:
>
> 21. A shoe store in Pangasinan which has a sign saying:
>
> We Sell Imported Robber Shoes? (These could be the
> 'sneakiest'
>
> sneakers);
>
> 22. A rental property sign in Jaro reads:
>
> House for Rent, Fully Furnaced (It must really be hot
> inside)!
>
> 23. Occasionally, one could come across signs that are
> truly unique - if
>
> not altogether odd.
>
> City in southern
> Philippines which said: Adults: 1 peso; Child: 50
>
> centavos; Cadavers: fare subject to negotiation.
>
> 24. European tourists may also be intrigued to discover
> two competing
>
> shops selling hopia (a Chinese pastry) called Holland Hopia
> and
> Poland
>
> Hopia - which
> are owned and operated by two local Chinese
>
> entrepreneurs, Mr. Ho and Mr. Po respectively - (believe it
> or not)!
>
> 25. Some folks also 'creatively' redesign English
> to be more efficient.
>
> The creative confusion between language and culture leads
> to more than
>
> just simple unintentional errors in syntax, but in the
> adoption of new
>
> words, says reader Robert Goodfellow who came across a
> sign.....
>
> House Fersallarend' (house for sale or rent). Why use
> five words when
>
> two will do?
>
> 26. According to Manila businessman, Tonyboy Ongsiako,
> there is so much
> wit in the
> sense of humor is needed to survive. We have a 24-hour
> comedy show here
>
> called the government and a huge reserve of comedians made
> up mostly of
>
> politicians and bad actors.
>
> Now I ask you where else in the world would one want to
> live?
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> "The best things in life are free but when
> life hands you lemons, ask
>
>
>
>
> for tequila and salt and call me over! "
>
> Philippines . Why? Because we are in a country where a good
>
> Romer Wilson Velasco-Serrano